Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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