How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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