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• (703): View more from Virginia

  he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies

  (703): View more from Virginia

  and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"

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• (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.

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• (415): View more from California

  This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....

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• (801): View more from Utah

  Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.

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• (530): View more from California

  Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.

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• (509): View more from Washington

  There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.

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• (386): View more from Florida

  my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.

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