Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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