Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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