I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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