Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
This is classic penis vs brain.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
