No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
She said her name was "party"
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Randomize
