If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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