My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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