Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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