I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
