i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
