Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I came so hard my ears popped.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
