Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
