Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
