Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
