You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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