i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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