Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
