Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
