I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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