dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
