Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
