that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Randomize
