is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
