I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
