I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize
