it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
