we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
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