I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
wanna go halves on a baby?
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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