separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
