woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize