If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
