There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
