You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
