absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
