he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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