If i could tip my vagina, i would.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
All the doctor said was why
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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