I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
