R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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