1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I have surprise drugs for everyone
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
