She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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