Sponge bath it is.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
