Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Threesome in a minivan. New low
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
