If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
