We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Can I color on your dick again?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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