stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
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