Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
