so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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