Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Four minutes until I can fart!
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
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