i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
