I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
