Dual....:-)
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
