I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize