currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
