I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Are we still banned from the library?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
