I puked a lego.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
