Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize