I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
we should paint friendship bongs
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
