I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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