omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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