i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Randomize
