I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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