He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
