she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize