is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
