i think my mom watched the whole time
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
