have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
