Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
